The Adoptee's Voice

I have been a part of the blogosphere for a couple of months. Because this site reflects my experiences with adoption, I have made it a point to reach out to other sites related to adoption. There are sites geared toward the adult adoptee, birth parent and adoptive parent. Each offering a unique perspective and unique challenges. It is the adult adoptee perspective that I have found to have the greatest range of voices and the greatest need to be heard. I was surprised by this, I’m not sure why. Perhaps because as an adoptee, I have learned to adapt and accept the life I have lived. But in reading the posts and blogs of those who have questioned and seek answers to why they are not with their birth families, I recognize their pain, loss, longing for identity and the realization that all has been altered. I have found a greater empathy for not only these adoptees but for myself, the child, who still struggles. The dialogue between adult adoptees and others in the adoption community, including adoptive and birth families is so important so that in the future, adapting and just accepting will no longer be the end of who we are. Instead we and they can embrace the total of who we are.


  1. I reached out to my birth sister last year. She didn't know she had a younger sister...It was not at all what I had hoped it would be. I feel horrible that she didn't know, I feel like I hurt her memories of her mother.

  2. Liz, There are so many people involved when we talk about the adoption triad. It was quite a long time after meeting my birth mother and other siblings that my birth sister was open to the idea of meeting me. Since then we have become very close. It really isn't something we can predict. I hope in time your sister will come around. It is obvious your intention was rooted in love. She may just need time to take it in. Sadly, shame has been attached to birth mothers and their babies. This is a huge motivator for me in doing this blog. Ending the shame. Keep posting. I'd love to hear your story. Best. Julie